All posts by mary

My Story:My Journey to Wellness…Part I

In 2007 I had a cancer scare. My doctor told me I had 18 months to turn my life around or things were going to get real. Thus began my journey to wellness.

My life was turned upside down. I immediately called a former doctor, hoping this new guy was a quack. Instead, he agreed. It was time for me to make some changes.

I’d love to be able to say I got my physical life completely on track, but it’s been a slow climb for me. Fourteen years later I’m still making changes to get healthier. I’m still overweight, but I have to say I am living a cleaner, healthier life than ever before—and I couldn’t be happier!

This series is about my journey and the simple but effective things I’ve been doing and continue to do to live a healthier, happier, and cleaner life. I hope you will join me!

And So It Began

When the “C” word showed up, the first thing I did in cleaning up my life was to begin building my immune system. Less sugar was a big part of that. I discovered Stevia and still use it today to sweeten my coffee, hot teas, or anything I would normally add processed sugar to. Decreasing my sugar intake was huge in fighting this new battle and redefining my health. Sugar feeds cancer.

If I was going to beat this thing I needed to take better care to minimize my sugar intake. (Notice I didn’t say cut it out completely. Yes, that would have been better, but I know myself and drastic measures don’t usually work well for me—and that drastic measure would not have stuck given the stress in my life at that time. We will talk about stress later….!) Reduced sugar intake was my first step toward wellness.

NanogreensAt the same time, I got proactive with Nanogreens. One scoop in the morning in apple juice or a protein shake gave me a full day’s supply of nature’s “atomic” immune booster! High quality Nanogreens have 10 servings of fruits and vegetables in one little scoop. I was notorious for not eating healthy in those days, so Nanogreens gave me the nutritional boost I needed without having to start eating like a rabbit. Wellness step 2: daily intake of Nanogreens.

My Nanogreens of choice are from Biopharma Scientific. Both my doctors* confirmed this brand of Nanogreens was one of high quality. .

Within six months of making these two simple changes—less processed sugar and more Nanogreens—my test came back with a glowing report! I knew then I was onto something good. My journey to wellness was off to a good start!

[Stay tuned for Part II, coming soon!]

______________________________

Note:*Both these doctors are chiropractic internists who treat the whole person instead of merely treating individual symptoms. They also treat with natural resources rather than synthetic, man-made chemical compounds.

Disclaimer: I am not a licensed nutritionist or healthcare practitioner. All suggestions on this blog are to be researched and investigated by the reader. Please contact your personal physician as needed.

Copyright 2021 Mary Comm. All rights reserved.

Relationship Truths – Pt III: The Power of Three

We’ve previously talked about the Power of One.  Today I’d like to talk about the Power of Three!

We have three types of relationships in life.  We have a relationship with God, with ourselves, and with others.  Each of these categories is vital to the health and well being of the others.  When one relationship area is out of balance, the other two are also off kilter.

So let’s look at them one by one.

I. Your Relationship with God

Our relationship with God determines everything about us.  How we interact and depend upon God can revolutionize our mood, attitudes, and strength for the day.  Likewise, if we believe things about God that are not true, we are setting ourselves up for tragic failure.  So the most important thing is that we

  1. Know God and worship Him in Spirit and in Truth.  We must have an accurate concept of who God is, what His character is, and what He says about us if we are going to have a healthy relationship with Him.  If we believe that He wants us to be happy, for example, we may make huge mistakes in our lives based on this false belief.  Does God care about our heart and want us to live the abundant life? Absolutely!  But we must determine what this means according to His Word–not based on what someone might lead us to believe.  Read and study the Bible for yourself.  Learn how to read it accurately.  Without proper bible study training and tools, it is far too easy to believe God said something He didn’t.  Many Christians are led astray these days but simply not knowing who God is and what He says in His Word.  Engage with Him every day through private, intimate prayer time, and by reading His Word.
  2. Determine to surrender your will, your rights to Him.  Determine to obey Him, no matter what!
  3. Strive to be His instrument of peace, love, joy, truth, hope, and compassion in your circles of influence.
  4. Trust Him with your life, the lives of those around you, and to work in your circumstances according to His will.
  5. Accept that He is God and you are not!  You be you and let Him be God!

II. Your Relationship with Yourself

The second relationship that is also vital to the overall health and balance of your life is the relationship you have with yourself.  Perhaps you’ve never considered that you are in a relationship with yourself.  Let me ask you this:  Do you talk to yourself? Do you think things about yourself? Do you belittle or demean yourself when you blow it or when you trip over that invisible bump in the carpet? Do you call yourself stupid or fat or tell yourself you can’t succeed at this or that? You can get time away from your boss at work or your spouse and kids at home, but the one person you can never escape is yourself.

Jesus said we are to love our neighbor as ourselves (Matthew 22:39).  In fact, He said this is the second greatest commandment–which makes it pretty important!  So what do you think He meant when He said to love our neighbor as ourselves?

  1. First, it means we have to love ourselves before we can love others.
  2. It does NOT mean we are to have a self-absorbed type of love for ourselves, but an honest, kind and thoughtful love toward ourselves, as children and servants of the Most High God.
  3. Each of us is made in God’s image; we bear His image, and because we have His Spirit living inside of us, our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit (Genesis 1:26; Romans 8:9; 1 Corinthians 6:19).  Likewise,  He chose us before the foundation of the world to be His children and to live out His purposes (Ephesians 1:4; Romans 8:17; Ephesians 1:9).  Our lives are not our own; we were bought at a price (1 Corinthians 6:20).
  4. Just as we are instructed to put our oxygen mask on first and then help whomever we are with, when on a plane that has lost cabin pressure, we are expected to care for ourselves so that we can help and care for others.  If you are caring for yourself at the expense of others, you’re doing it wrong!  Likewise, if you’re caring for others at your own expense, you’re also doing it wrong….  It is vital to find the appropriate balance in surrender and obedience to God.

As we learn to appropriately love and care for ourselves, we will likewise be better prepared to love and care for others.

III. Your Relationship with Others

And finally, when we live in relationship with others according to our relationships with God and ourselves–in obedience to Him in both these areas, our relationships with others will more naturally follow suit!  This doesn’t mean that by having a good relationship with God and ourselves that our relationships with others will be without trouble.  It does mean, however, that we are more likely to take responsibility for our choices, our thoughts, words, and actions in dealing with others, and that we are more likely to relinquish those relationships to God as well.

A right relationship with God changes everything!  But most of all, it changes us!  Learn to get to know God, to know who He has made you and how He has instructed you to live, and maintain every relationship in your life in accordance with those truths.  That is the Power of Three!  It is powerful indeed!

Make today count!
In His grace,

Mary

Relationship Truths – Pt II: It’s Never Just About The Other Person

I know.  I used to really resist the notion that it’s never just about the other person as well.  (Actually, hate is probably the more accurate word!  I hated when people said that!)  The truth is that relationships take two, and the only person in the relationship you can change is YOU! That means my choices impact the relationship even when the other person has major issues.

We’ve all dealt with that person.  The person who is all about him or herself.  The person who treats you great as long as you agree with him, but the minute you disagree, the gloves are off and you’re decimated by a barrage of demeaning or belittling language.  The person who is happy as can be until a situation arises that she can’t control, and suddenly chaos ensues.  The person that lies to you, mistreats you, takes advantage of you, or disregards your feelings….  That is indeed a difficult person with which to be in relationship.

However….  (You knew there was a “but” coming, didn’t you?!?)  However, you have responsibility in how you respond to that person.  You cannot make them be considerate of you, express empathy toward your hurt feelings, or show respect for you as a unique individual with differing likes and dislikes.  But, you do have power in theses circumstances!  You have power, and you have responsibility!

So let’s look at a hypothetical situation.

Your husband arrives home from work, tired, cranky, irritable, and spent.  He’s angry with you for not preparing dinner, meaning it’s another expensive meal out.  He doesn’t think to ask you how your day went.  He doesn’t know about the arguments you refereed between your children, or the close call in the neighbor’s pool that could have seriously injured your daughter.  He doesn’t know that the homeowner’s insurance rates went way up, the washer flooded the utility room, your best friend’s marriage is falling apart and she spent the afternoon crying on your sofa,  and that you’ve had a migraine all day.  To make matters worse, this isn’t anything new.  He always seems to think only of himself, showing little regard for you or your feelings.  So in your mind, this is but another infraction in a long line of infractions where he has shown little or no concern for you and has, instead, “beat you up” with criticism, judgment, and contempt.

Normally you “suck it up” and take it, stuffing your hurt and angry feelings, or you respond in kind, telling him what a jerk he is for not even asking you how your day went.  But this time, you make a different choice.  This time, you have spent some time in prayer before he arrived home.  You cast your burdens on God, your frustrations, your fears, your pain, and your sorrow for your friend.  You asked God to help you really “see” your husband and to understand that he’s had a hard day too.  You’ve committed before God–again–to love, honor, and cherish your husband for better or worse, realizing that today falls into the worse category.  You asked God to give you what you need to be the wife your husband needs today, in this instance.

So when your husband walks in the door, instead of being frazzled and used up, you are still weary, but you are buoyed by the Spirit of God.  When your husband barks as he comes in the door, upset because dinner isn’t on the stove, you silently hold up your shield of faith and deflect those harsh words and tones, sending them instead to the Throne of God.  You take your husband’s briefcase from him, meet him with a tired but sincere smile, and you let him know you’re glad he’s home.  You apologize that dinner fell off the schedule today, and suggest that perhaps you make the kids some PB&J’s for dinner, and that the two of you go out for a quiet meal together–using the two-for-one coupon you received in the mail that day.

Your husband has choices about how he responds, and the truth is that he may still vent his frustrations on you.  But as before, you can deflect them, realizing that you know a lot about your day that he doesn’t, and even more, God does know and He understands completely.  Again, you meet your husband’s frustration with kindness, suggesting he change into more comfortable clothes, wash the dirt of the day off his face, and let him know that you see him, regardless of whether or not he sees you.

Now this isn’t a perfect formula that will work every time.  It may work or it may not.  But here’s the thing:  you won’t know until you try.  One of you needs to break the cycle of demanding that your needs be met.  One of you needs to take a step toward the other in kindness, understanding, and love.  But here’s the other thing:  when this kind of response becomes your norm, one of two things is going to happen.  Either he will begin to soften and reciprocate, or he won’t.  If he does, you’ve won over your husband and improved your marriage.  If not, you’ve still done the right thing before God.  And that’s no small thing!

God honors those whose walk is blameless.  Strive to walk blamelessly in your relationships–not just in your own eyes, but in God’s eyes, depending upon Him to meet your needs and to make a way where there previously wasn’t one.  This process isn’t about stuffing your feelings, it’s about taking your feelings to God, turning to Him to meet your needs, and filling up your peace, love, and joy bucket so that you have those things to pour out to the other person.  What they do with your kindness is their responsibility, but I will tell you that kindness breeds kindness more often than contempt does.  Contempt only breeds contempt.  You can count on that!

You can also count on God.  When you get out of the way, it makes a way for God to work in that other person’s life.

The Takeaway

So here are some practical tips:

  1.  Plan ahead.  When you know the end of the day is usually when arguments erupt between you and your husband, plan ahead.  Take 10 minutes or whatever time you can carve out, and pray.  Relinquish your burdens of the day to God, press into His love and compassion, and ask Him to prepare you to be the spouse you need to be when your husband walks through the door.  Pray for your husband that God will use the drive home to minister to his heart, to drain off the stresses of the day, and to give him love and kindness toward you.  Pray spiritual protection over your husband, asking that no weapon formed against him would prosper.
  2. Know and rehearse the truth.
    • Know that your husband is NOT the enemy!  We war against powers and principalities, not against flesh and blood!  (Ephesians 6:12)
    • You know what kind of bad day you had, but your husband does not.  Likewise, you don’t know what stresses he had. Be thoughtful toward him anyway.
    • Know that regardless of the circumstances, you chose your husband because you love him; you committed yourself to him (before God) for better or worse; and your responsibility is to be Christ to him.  That commitment is between you and God, not you and your husband.  Likewise, how he treats you is between him and God, not between him and you!  Do what you know to be right, and ask God to do the same work in your husband.
    • Know also that the fact that you didn’t make dinner does not make you a bad person, an inadequate person, or a lazy person.  Know and accept the truth, and commit to deflecting things that are not true.  (Attach yourself to God’s truth; detach from the lies of the enemy.)
  3. Clothe yourself with kindness, compassion, and love for your husband.  Instead of looking to have your needs met, strive to be there for him.
  4. Treat him as you want to be treated.  Pray that God will soften his heart in the same way.
  5. Entrust the inequities in the relationship to God’s care and justice.  God does care for both of you.  God is a just and righteous God–meaning there is no wrong in Him.  Trust Him with your relationship with your spouse or whomever you may be having difficulties with.  Do the right thing.  Trust God to do the right thing.  Pray for the other person to desire to do the right thing.  And leave the results to God.

Our relationship struggles are never just about the other person.  We have the Power of One.  We have the power of prayer and the power of choice.  Never let the enemy convince you the issue is all the other person.  Commit to being God’s instrument of love, peace, and kindness to the person you’re in relationship with.  Do your part. Trust Him to do His.  Let God be God.

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.  Romans 12:12 (ESV)

No go and make today count!
In His grace,

Mary

Relationship Truths – Part One: The Power of One

No matter what kind of relationships you’re engaged in, there are three undeniable truths about YOU:

  1. You were made by God for relationships.
  2.  You have a choice in how you think, feel, and respond within your relationships.
  3.  You alone are responsible for you—your choices, your actions, your responses to others.

We cannot change others, but we can and **should** take responsibility for our relationships—the good, the bad, and the ugly! Taking responsibility doesn’t mean you’re a horrible failure of a human being. On the contrary, it means you are owning your stuff and taking steps to being the best version of yourself!

Owning your stuff does not let others off the hook for their stuff; it is only about taking responsibility for yourself. However, as we begin to take the focus off the other person and begin looking honestly at ourselves, and as we begin taking back our power over our own hearts, minds, and choices, we can effect change in the relationship. Dr. Gary Smalley (in The DNA of Relationships) calls that “the Power of One.”

God’s Word says it this way:

“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” Romans 12:18 (ESV)

Ask yourself these questions and be honest with yourself in your answers:

    • Am I only focusing on what others are doing wrong?
    • Am I owning my own thoughts, feelings, and responses? Or am I justifying them?
    • As I begin to own my thoughts, feelings, and responses, what do I need to ask forgiveness for?
    • Knowing that I have the power to change only myself, what can I begin to do differently to improve my relationship(s)?
    • God, what do You want me to see and take ownership of?

“But from there you will seek the Lord your God and you will find him, if you search after him with all your heart and with all your soul.” Deuteronomy 4:29 (ESV)

 

Today is all you have. Make today count!
In the grip of His grace,

Mary

Mary Comm: EXPOSED! (My philosophy of LIFE )

So, have I ever told you why there’s a tree in my logo?
 
Well, first, it’s because I LOVE TREES! They represent LIFE to me. Trees have ROOTS that dig down deep… (Yes, I’ve been accused of being deep… A deep feeler. A deep thinker. I love to go deep!)
 
Trees have a TRUNK — which is the support system for all those branches and leaves — and it also provides a pathway for all those nutrients from down deep to get to those same leaves and branches.
 
And yes, then there are the LEAVES and BRANCHES. Branches expand out into a beautiful array of smaller branches, leaves and fruit. They, too, offer support and a nutrient delivery system, enabling those leaves to grow and thrive and dance in the wind and sunshine.
 
WebAnd in case you haven’t noticed, the tree in my logo is an illustration of CONNECTEDNESS which is all about RELATIONSHIP. (Do you see the BODIES so close together that it looks like ONE trunk? Do you sees the ARMS outstretched in joy, being fully alive? Do you see the FACES?) We are all CONNECTED by relationship, and the quality of those connections is reflected in the quality of our lives.
 
Life is hard, but life lived TOGETHER in deep, meaningful, joyful, satisfying relationship is what makes the hardships bearable.
 
And finally, a little known secret about me:
 
One of my very favorite life verses is Jeremiah 17:8, which says:
 
“They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”
 
This is my LIFE GOAL, to be this kind of “tree”…. I want to be so grounded in my relationship with God, and healthy in my relationships with myself and others, that NO MATTER WHAT comes, I can live and grow and bear good fruit — a life of RESILIENCE, the kind that culminates in producing a life well lived; one that blesses God and benefits others.
 
With that said, the BLUE in my logo represents that River of Life that comes from God and flows through me to others. (See, I told you I am deep!)  😉  (Plus, this is my favorite color!)
So, here’s my question for you:
If there was one thing that represented YOU, what would it be?  
(Come on, go deep with me!  Dive in, the water’s fine!) 😀
All right.  I’m done for now…. This tree’s gotta leave! 
(Yes, I know what a bad pun that was, LOL!)
Now go and Make Today Count!
Mary 🙂

“You Mean Divine Guidance Isn’t A Take-Out Order?”

Exploring Our Relationship with God

How many times do I have to learn this lesson?

Have you ever asked yourself that question? I have–and do–frequently!

This morning was one of those times.

I’ve been praying for God’s guidance on a particularly BIG issue in my life. Since I know God knows my heart, I tend to bypass the heart connection with Him, and simply go to the issue at hand.

“Lord, I need to know what Your will is in this situation. Please tell me what to do!”

It’s a little like pulling up to a fast food restaurant where a faceless voice comes over the speaker to ask, “What can I get you today?”

If I even look at the menu it’s brief, then I place my order.

“I’ll have Divine Guidance re: XYZ, please, and that’s all.”  I don’t even wait for the attendant to ask if He can get me anything else.

But God doesn’t have a drive-through window.  God is all about relationship–not short-order responses!  He wants us to come into His presence, sit down with Him for a while, without the urge to dash off in two minutes (or less).  He wants me to SEE Him, to KNOW Him better, and to LISTEN carefully to whatever is on His heart–which just may be about something else entirely, something which paints a completely different picture of my situation.

So, for this time at least, I think I’ve got it.  God is a lot like our children; He spells love T-I-M-E.  It takes time to get to know God, and for us to remember how well He knows us.  It’s all about Him and His agenda.  It’s really not about me at all. Just like our kids, God wants a relationship with us.

So instead of a fast-food solution, I will park my car, walk in, sit down at His table and FEAST on His love, compassion, wisdom, strength, and so much more….  Sure, it takes a little more time that way, but what a difference it makes!

Hear instruction and be wise,
    and do not neglect it.
 Blessed is the one who listens to me,
    watching daily at my gates,
    waiting beside my doors.
For whoever finds me finds life
    and obtains favor from the Lord….”

Proverbs 8:33-35 (ESV)

Make today count!
Mary

Tell Your (Shattered) Heart To Beat Again….

I was heading out this morning and just minutes after turning the radio on, I heard this song.  From the first word Mr. Gokey had my attention.  Not very many years ago “shattered” was exactly what I was.  And yes, the life I knew was in a thousand pieces on the floor.  I was driven to my knees, and the road back was a long, hard one.  But yes, every scar reminds me of the One who carried me through; the One who continues to work everything in my life for good….

Perhaps you’re in a similar place today.  Perhaps your life is shattered, along with your heart, your dreams, and your hope.  Let me encourage you to “Step into the light of grace…and say goodbye to where you’ve been, and tell your heart to beat again.”

Just like me, God is not finished with you yet!  He will still work out much good in your life, because “love sees farther than you ever could.”

Let Him do it.

He’s got you.

He’s got this!

Make every day count!
Mary

———————————————

“Tell Your Heart To Beat Again”
By Danny Gokey

You’re shattered
Like you’ve never been before
The life you knew
In a thousand pieces on the floor
And words fall short in times like these
When this world drives you to your knees
You think you’re never gonna get back
To the you that used to beTell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday’s a closing door
You don’t live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you’ve been
And tell your heart to beat againBeginning
Just let that word wash over you
It’s alright now
Love’s healing hands have pulled you through
So get back up, take step one
Leave the darkness, feel the sun
Cause your story’s far from over
And your journey’s just begunTell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday’s a closing door
You don’t live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you’ve been
And tell your heart to beat againLet every heartbreak
And every scar
Be a picture that reminds you
Who has carried you this far
‘Cause love sees farther than you ever could
In this moment heaven’s working
Everything for your goodTell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday’s a closing door
You don’t live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you’ve been
And tell your heart to beat again
Your heart to beat again
Beat again

Oh, so tell your heart to beat again

Guarding Your Heart in a World that Doesn’t

shattered.heart“‘Above all else, guard your heart’ (Prov. 4:23)… It doesn’t say guard your heart because it’s criminal; it says guard your heart because it is the wellspring of your life, because it is a treasure, because everything else depends on it. How kind of God to give us this warning, like someone’s entrusting to a friend something precious to him, with the words: ‘Be careful with this—it means a lot to me.'”

—————-

“Above all else? Good grief—we don’t even do it once in a while. We might as well leave our life savings on the seat of the car with the windows rolled downwe’re that careless with our hearts…”

~ John Eldredge, Waking the Dead


 

Do you guard your heart? Or are you careless with it? Do you flippantly throw it around like a beach ball on a summer day to whomever will catch it? Or do you guard it so diligently that no one else is ever able to penetrate it? All good questions to ponder.

The heart is a funny thing.  It needs to love others in order to remain strong and alive, but it’s so fragile it may be deeply wounded, broken in two, or completely shattered.   We must treasure our heart as the wellspring of life and as the place within us, as God’s followers, that His Spirit dwells and out of which His love, compassion, and mercy flow.

Your heart is important to God, and it should be important to you.  Guard it carefully, engage it often, and when it is broken or shattered, know that God is there to mend it.

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 ESV

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3 ESV

 

Oh, and if you haven’t read Waking the Dead, or haven’t read it in a while, read it!

Make Today Count!
Mary

Know God….His Grace Toward You

Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you;
    therefore he will rise up to show you compassion.
For the Lord is a God of justice.
    Blessed are all who wait for him!

Isaiah 30:18 NIV

 How well do you know God? Have you ever thought about how He “longs” to be gracious to you? Or that He will rise up to show you compassion? And that these things are true because He is a God of justice?

A friend shared this verse at our Life Group last night and I had to come home and look it up.  It speaks of our God’s great love and compassion for us in the midst of being Just.  I think that’s pretty incredible!

If you think of God as being harsh, unkind, or that He loves to punish you, you couldn’t be more wrong! His heart breaks when ours are broken.

Get to know God for who He really is, and learn to wait for Him to show up BIG in your life! Trust Him. He will not disappoint!

If you need help in learning more about who God is and having a relationship with Him, contact me.  I can help!

Make today count!
Mary

For Anyone Who Asks the Question: Why Do Bad Things Happen?

I’ve been through a lot of hurts in my life.  I would wager you have too.  Over the years, God has shown me a common theme throughout His Word.  It is that He is God, He is good, loving, and just, and He is always working in our lives–through our circumstances, our losses, our trials, and yes, even and especially through our pain.  Put another way, He has a purpose in our suffering.  It is not just for the sake of seeing us squirm–as Jim Carey’s character stated in the movie Bruce Almighty.

Does the fact that we hurt mean God has abandoned us or that somehow He has failed us? Does it mean He is evil, bad, or mean? Although our human hearts often believe these scenarios to be true, they are not.  Does God allow bad things to happen to us? Yes. The Bible is full of heroic Christians and faithful God-followers who suffered great pain, loss, punishment, disaster, or catastrophe–sometimes even in the name of Christ.  As the late Elisabeth Elliot stated in one of her books, “All events serve God’s will.”

But we still want to know why, don’t we?  I know I do.  As I have processed and worked through my own trials and painful times, God has shown me a few of the answers to the question “why?”.  That’s what this brief E-book is about.

If you or someone you know has struggled with the question “why?,” this E-book, Why Do Bad Things Happen? (And Where is God When They Do?) is for you.

Order your copy now and tell a friend.  And be sure to leave a comment below after you’ve read it!

If you are struggling in your relationship with God, yourself, or others, I can help!  Contact me today!

Make today count!
Mary