Tag Archives: grace

Relationship Truths – Part One: The Power of One

No matter what kind of relationships you’re engaged in, there are three undeniable truths about YOU:

  1. You were made by God for relationships.
  2.  You have a choice in how you think, feel, and respond within your relationships.
  3.  You alone are responsible for you—your choices, your actions, your responses to others.

We cannot change others, but we can and **should** take responsibility for our relationships—the good, the bad, and the ugly! Taking responsibility doesn’t mean you’re a horrible failure of a human being. On the contrary, it means you are owning your stuff and taking steps to being the best version of yourself!

Owning your stuff does not let others off the hook for their stuff; it is only about taking responsibility for yourself. However, as we begin to take the focus off the other person and begin looking honestly at ourselves, and as we begin taking back our power over our own hearts, minds, and choices, we can effect change in the relationship. Dr. Gary Smalley (in The DNA of Relationships) calls that “the Power of One.”

God’s Word says it this way:

“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” Romans 12:18 (ESV)

Ask yourself these questions and be honest with yourself in your answers:

    • Am I only focusing on what others are doing wrong?
    • Am I owning my own thoughts, feelings, and responses? Or am I justifying them?
    • As I begin to own my thoughts, feelings, and responses, what do I need to ask forgiveness for?
    • Knowing that I have the power to change only myself, what can I begin to do differently to improve my relationship(s)?
    • God, what do You want me to see and take ownership of?

“But from there you will seek the Lord your God and you will find him, if you search after him with all your heart and with all your soul.” Deuteronomy 4:29 (ESV)

 

Today is all you have. Make today count!
In the grip of His grace,

Mary

Know God….His Grace Toward You

Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you;
    therefore he will rise up to show you compassion.
For the Lord is a God of justice.
    Blessed are all who wait for him!

Isaiah 30:18 NIV

 How well do you know God? Have you ever thought about how He “longs” to be gracious to you? Or that He will rise up to show you compassion? And that these things are true because He is a God of justice?

A friend shared this verse at our Life Group last night and I had to come home and look it up.  It speaks of our God’s great love and compassion for us in the midst of being Just.  I think that’s pretty incredible!

If you think of God as being harsh, unkind, or that He loves to punish you, you couldn’t be more wrong! His heart breaks when ours are broken.

Get to know God for who He really is, and learn to wait for Him to show up BIG in your life! Trust Him. He will not disappoint!

If you need help in learning more about who God is and having a relationship with Him, contact me.  I can help!

Make today count!
Mary

2 Qualities of a Great Leader

A Great Leader… is Both Confident and Humble

Being a leader brings an entire litany of stresses, challenges, and responsibilities that those who have never been in leadership are unaware of. As a business owner, manager, or boss, the reality of your impact upon the lives of those around you is ever present. If the business fails, these people will be out of jobs, which will affect their families. That alone is a tremendous responsibility.

If the leader leads with a “let’s be buddies” mentality, the likelihood is that someone in the organization is going to take advantage of that, which will most likely hurt others in the process. These types of leaders are vulnerable to the manipulation and dishonesty of the unscrupulous employee. At a minimum, such a buddy attitude can diminish respect for that leader. On the other hand, leaders who rule with an iron fist communicate that the only thing they care about is the bottom line—which also causes a host of problems within the organization, not the least of which is decreased motivation, employee dissatisfaction, and yes, a lack of respect for that leader. Thus leading others, whether in business or ministry, for fun or for profit, requires a delicate balance of humanity (compassion, relationship, respect, genuine concern for the individual, etc.) and business mindedness (concern for the health and profitability of the business or organization), a balance that is difficult to find and challenging to maintain.

When it comes to this type of balanced leadership, a great leader knows herself well enough to be familiar with both her strengths and her weaknesses in these areas and beyond. She is confident in her ability to lead, while humble enough to realize that good leaders continue learning great leadership skills. As a Christian, she will be confident in the assignment she has been given at this place, at this time, and for such a time as this (Esther 4:14b). And she will know that when God calls us to a certain task, He equips us for it. As the saying goes, “God doesn’t call the equipped, He equips the called.”

At the same time, she also knows her shortcomings, and when she blows it, she owns up to her mistake. She does not deny her shortcomings, cover up her failures, make excuses, or blame others when she makes a mistake. She knows that every failure provides a valuable learning experience. And she follows that humility with the determination to get back up and try again, with the intention of doing it better next time.  Though she falls down seven times, she gets up eight! [Proverbs 24:16] And she is stronger, wiser, and better equipped as she does so. Having this perspective also makes her more gracious and understanding toward others when they make mistakes.

It is this combination of confident dependence on Christ and humility that makes her the kind of leader that others respect and even want to emulate. This leader will inspire those around her with her kindness, her confidence, and her willingness to take responsibility for her failures, as well as the honest mistakes of those under her leadership. This grace-full leader will be a great leader in the lives of those around her and she will be an asset to any organization.

Have you experienced any of these scenarios? Do you have questions about anything in this article? If so, comment below. We all grow when we ask and when we share.

Make today count!
Mary

 

[Copyright Mary Comm, 2015. All rights reserved.]

Word for the Year: GRACE

My words-of-the-year have taken on an interesting picture when I look back over them. In 2011 and 2012, my word was HOPE. Romans 15:13 was the corresponding verse: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” (NIV). During this time I needed hope like I’ve never needed it before.

In 2013, it was AUTHENTICITY. “But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere” James 3:17. I determined to be authentic, honest, and sincere in all my interactions with others and in my internal dialogue.

In 2014, my words were FREEDOM and FORGIVE. “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery” Galatians 5:1.  And in Luke 23:34, “Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”  If Jesus could forgive the very people who were torturing and killing Him, and even making sport of the situation, then how can I not forgive those who have hurt me? The most interesting revelation of the year? When I FORGAVE others, I was set FREE!

This year, my word is GRACE. “But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved…For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” Ephesians 2:1-10. We were rescued from our sin and ourselves–not for ourselves, but for Him–so we could LIVE and BE the message of how He saves and that He does so with love beyond our comprehension, with undeserved pardon (mercy) and unmerited favor (grace). We were saved to be vessels of His grace to others…and that is what my word for this year entails. I am called to be and reveal His grace to others who need it.

In 2011/2012 I desperately needed hope…. In 2015, God has worked so much in my life that I am excited about being a vessel of His grace (and hope and kindness and love, etc.)  to others.  This is what being a Christian is all about: finding what we need in God and then showing others how to do the same.  We are the prism through which His light shines….  It’s a beautiful thing, and so many people need His light in their lives!

Do you have a word for the year? If you do, please share it here.  It’s interesting to see how that word continually crops up in your life throughout the year, and how, by the end of the year, it has changed you.

His grace to you, today and always,

mary