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Building Great Relationships

Relationship Truths – Pt III: The Power of Three

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We’ve previously talked about the Power of One.  Today I’d like to talk about the Power of Three!

We have three types of relationships in life.  We have a relationship with God, with ourselves, and with others.  Each of these categories is vital to the health and well being of the others.  When one relationship area is out of balance, the other two are also off kilter.

So let’s look at them one by one.

I. Your Relationship with God

Our relationship with God determines everything about us.  How we interact and depend upon God can revolutionize our mood, attitudes, and strength for the day.  Likewise, if we believe things about God that are not true, we are setting ourselves up for tragic failure.  So the most important thing is that we

  1. Know God and worship Him in Spirit and in Truth.  We must have an accurate concept of who God is, what His character is, and what He says about us if we are going to have a healthy relationship with Him.  If we believe that He wants us to be happy, for example, we may make huge mistakes in our lives based on this false belief.  Does God care about our heart and want us to live the abundant life? Absolutely!  But we must determine what this means according to His Word–not based on what someone might lead us to believe.  Read and study the Bible for yourself.  Learn how to read it accurately.  Without proper bible study training and tools, it is far too easy to believe God said something He didn’t.  Many Christians are led astray these days but simply not knowing who God is and what He says in His Word.  Engage with Him every day through private, intimate prayer time, and by reading His Word.
  2. Determine to surrender your will, your rights to Him.  Determine to obey Him, no matter what!
  3. Strive to be His instrument of peace, love, joy, truth, hope, and compassion in your circles of influence.
  4. Trust Him with your life, the lives of those around you, and to work in your circumstances according to His will.
  5. Accept that He is God and you are not!  You be you and let Him be God!

II. Your Relationship with Yourself

The second relationship that is also vital to the overall health and balance of your life is the relationship you have with yourself.  Perhaps you’ve never considered that you are in a relationship with yourself.  Let me ask you this:  Do you talk to yourself? Do you think things about yourself? Do you belittle or demean yourself when you blow it or when you trip over that invisible bump in the carpet? Do you call yourself stupid or fat or tell yourself you can’t succeed at this or that? You can get time away from your boss at work or your spouse and kids at home, but the one person you can never escape is yourself.

Jesus said we are to love our neighbor as ourselves (Matthew 22:39).  In fact, He said this is the second greatest commandment–which makes it pretty important!  So what do you think He meant when He said to love our neighbor as ourselves?

  1. First, it means we have to love ourselves before we can love others.
  2. It does NOT mean we are to have a self-absorbed type of love for ourselves, but an honest, kind and thoughtful love toward ourselves, as children and servants of the Most High God.
  3. Each of us is made in God’s image; we bear His image, and because we have His Spirit living inside of us, our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit (Genesis 1:26; Romans 8:9; 1 Corinthians 6:19).  Likewise,  He chose us before the foundation of the world to be His children and to live out His purposes (Ephesians 1:4; Romans 8:17; Ephesians 1:9).  Our lives are not our own; we were bought at a price (1 Corinthians 6:20).
  4. Just as we are instructed to put our oxygen mask on first and then help whomever we are with, when on a plane that has lost cabin pressure, we are expected to care for ourselves so that we can help and care for others.  If you are caring for yourself at the expense of others, you’re doing it wrong!  Likewise, if you’re caring for others at your own expense, you’re also doing it wrong….  It is vital to find the appropriate balance in surrender and obedience to God.

As we learn to appropriately love and care for ourselves, we will likewise be better prepared to love and care for others.

III. Your Relationship with Others

And finally, when we live in relationship with others according to our relationships with God and ourselves–in obedience to Him in both these areas, our relationships with others will more naturally follow suit!  This doesn’t mean that by having a good relationship with God and ourselves that our relationships with others will be without trouble.  It does mean, however, that we are more likely to take responsibility for our choices, our thoughts, words, and actions in dealing with others, and that we are more likely to relinquish those relationships to God as well.

A right relationship with God changes everything!  But most of all, it changes us!  Learn to get to know God, to know who He has made you and how He has instructed you to live, and maintain every relationship in your life in accordance with those truths.  That is the Power of Three!  It is powerful indeed!

Make today count!
In His grace,

Mary

Living Successfully

How to Overcome Destructive Thoughts

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Overcoming destructive thoughts—i.e. taking every thought captive—is not as daunting an endeavor as one might think. The ‘every’ here is not literally every thought—it’s only the thoughts that run contrary or in opposition to God’s Truth. For example, if you experience a setback in your business or ministry, the voice inside your head may say something like, “Well, I did it again. I failed. I blew it. I will never get these things right.” Notice the voice sounds like your own and even communicates in first person. This voice uses “I”, not “you.” Using “I” reinforces the immediate acceptance of the thoughts.

However the truth is that you are not a failure. You may have missed the mark this time, but doing so does not diminish who God says you are. And who does God say you are? You are a child of God, dearly loved, chosen for His purposes before the foundation of the world (Ephesians 1:3-5; 1 Peter 2:9). He loves you with an unfathomable, unconditional love based on the shed blood and redemption of Jesus Christ (1 Thessalonians 1:4a).

For the Believer, failure is merely discovering one way not to do something! It’s merely an opportunity to learn and grow.  It’s a step on the pathway, a part of the journey God takes us on as we become more like His Son Jesus.  But the enemy of God (namely satan) does not want you to focus on your identity in Christ. He wants you to focus on the failure, but not just this failure; he wants you to focus on this failure heaped on top of all the failures you’ve ever experienced.  He wants to beat you up, drag you down, discourage you, distract you, and derail you.

When these thoughts come into your head, ask yourself, would God speak to me this way? If the answer is no, single that thought out and then rout it out! Such deceptive, discouraging, disparaging, and demeaning thoughts have no place in the heart or mind of the Child of God.

To sum it up: Be aware of the presence of a negative thought or response. Identify the negative statement and determine whose voice it is. Refute it based on your identity in Christ*, and repent of ever agreeing with the enemy on this issue in the past. Then declare that those thoughts are in full subjection to Jesus your King.   Finally, praise God for His Truth, His Power, and His Provision in giving you freedom from the enemy’s lies.   This is one way to “demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and … take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5). Rinse and repeat as necessary. 😉

Stand firm upon God’s Truth that says, “The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds” (2 Corinthians 10:4). This simple process is your weapon; wield it with strength and confidence as a Child of God and with the boldness of the Lion of Judah! Unlike weapons of this world, the more you use this one, the sharper its blade becomes! The more you practice this demolition process, the more it will become natural to you.

If you are struggling with thoughts of defeat, failure, or discouragement, I can help.  Email me at christianlifeandleadership(at sign)gmail.com.

Blessings on the journey!
mary

*Who God Says I am:

  • Chosen by God: 1 Thessalonians 1:4-5
  • Dearly loved: Colossians 3:12
  • Forgiven: Psalm 103:12
  • His treasured possession: Deuteronomy 7:6
  • His joy and delight: Isaiah 65:18; 62:4 (“Hephzibah” means, “My delight is in her”)
  • One whose name is engraved on His hands: Isaiah 49:15
  • One over whom He dances wildly and with thanksgiving: Zephaniah 3:17
  • One so precious that He treasures my tears: Psalm 56:8

Copyright Mary Comm 2014. All rights reserved.