Trying Times

I have been on leave from coaching (with a couple of exceptions) for the past three months as I have been helping to care for my mother following a serious medical setback.  She had two hemorrhagic strokes within several days, followed by a long list of complications. These three months have been incredibly difficult, to say the least.

I’ve been thrown into a world of medical terminology entirely foreign to me.

I’ve been catapulted into a world of government medical aid that is completely confusing and frustrating.

I’ve been pulled into a family crisis of epic proportions; a crisis that has involved a number of ugly and hurtful encounters with some of my siblings and extended family members.

And I have experienced a range of emotions from heartbreak and loss to joy and gratitude.

Talk about a whirlwind, rollercoaster ride!

The things that have sustained me have been, first and foremost, my God who sees everything, stays right by my side, understands my pain and frustrations, and loves me beyond what I can comprehend.

Secondly, good friends and sweet family members who know and love me, many whom have been on a similar journey themselves, have surrounded me. I have been met with compassion, understanding, prayers, and the occasional check-ins to see how we’re doing. These have been in the forms of phone calls, texts, Facebook posts, cards, dinners out, and even the occasional fun night out! These people have cried with me and let me cry, without trying to fix anything. They have made me laugh and given me lots of hugs and emotional support. Chief among them all has been my adult daughter…. I honestly do not know where I would be without her!

Many times I have wished for this “season” to hurry up and end, until I realize that when it is over, I will no longer have my mother here with me.

What will my world look like without my sweet Mama in it? I can’t even begin to imagine the hole her absence will create in my life. She has been a very real anchor in my life, my entire life. She has prayed for me every day. She has always been here, within reach or a mere phone call away. The thought of her leaving this world wrenches my heart like nothing else.

But God…! But my God will never leave me and never forsake me. The God my mother taught me about from the time I was a toddler. The God she prayed to, read about, studied, obeyed, and shared with countless others over her 40+ years of church ministry.

Yes, this has been a difficult road, and the difficulty is not over yet. Already I have learned so much (to be shared in a different post!), and I figure I have much to learn still.

I am so incredibly grateful for every person who has made this journey a little easier. I consider myself richly blessed and deeply loved. Even as we approach the end of this season, I thank my God every day for the way He has loved and carried me through this time, and for every person He sent my way with love and concern.  And yes, I will be okay….

Oh, and, if you happen to think of my family or me, I would appreciate your prayers as we continue to navigate these trying times.

Make today count!


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