Tag Archives: hope

7 Priceless Benefits of Hiring a Life Coach

Although life coaching has been around for a while, there is still a degree of mystery that surrounds it. While life coaching is different than sports coaching, it is nonetheless a valuable and transformational experience that can propel even the most confused, stuck, or stifled individual into the life they’ve always wanted.

Life coaching is not about one person (the coach) instructing the other person (the client) on what decisions she needs to make or goals she needs to set. Instead, the coach works with the client’s own priorities, character traits, values, and desires in order to help her discover the decisions that are best for her. The end result is brought about by a beautiful partnership in which the coach and client work together for the best interests of the client.

Following are a few of the most life-enhancing benefits of working with a life coach.

  1. Clarity: To Gain Clarity on Your Journey. Whenever life gets complicated, it can be difficult to see the forest for the trees. Circular thinking can become one of our greatest enemies. We weigh the pros, the cons, the options, the likely outcomes, and before we know it, we are right back where we started. Or worse, we can see no options at all. Coaching provides a lens through which we are more able to clearly see our current circumstances and our potential options without over-analyzing or getting stuck in circular thinking.
  1. Self-Discovery: To Achieve a Higher Level of Self-Awareness and Identify Obstacles. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. Sometimes we lie to ourselves. The objectivity of a coach provides a sound backdrop by which you are able to safely and honestly step into the discovery process. Without that process, we are likely to take a wrong turn or miss the best that life has to offer us.
  1. Advocacy: To Have the Encouragement and Support of Someone Who Understands. Advocacy can take a number of forms. Your coach is someone who is there to support you on your journey, but s/he is also not afraid to confront you—gently but firmly—on issues that you may be allowing to get in your way. Likewise, your coach will also lift you up when you are discouraged and help you find and hold onto hope when you may be tempted to feel hopeless or overwhelmed.
  1. Expertise: To Benefit From the Objectivity, Wisdom, and Experience of Someone Whose Only Stake in Your Journey is Helping You Succeed. Unlike friends who may simply tell you what they think you want to hear, a good life coach is an objective partner, never a people-pleaser. Your coach is a professionally trained expert who knows how to help you discover the answers that are right for you. She begins by asking the right questions, powerful questions, and by giving you the safety, time, and space to discover the answers to those questions yourself. Again, she will not tell you what to do or what decisions to make. Her primary goal is to help you to discover what is right for you and then to formulate and carry out a plan to succeed.
  1. Accountability: To Have Accountability that Leads to Accomplishment. Your coach is someone to help you get where you want to go, asking the right questions, not accepting excuses, and empowering you with just the right amount of encouragement, inspiration, and validation. When you feel you need it, your coach will participate in your progress by providing accountability that helps keep you motivated to moving toward that next goal.
  1. Accomplishment: To Experience Accomplishment that Leads to Success: to help you reach the goals you set in the best way possible, and with the best possible outcomes. Your coach is someone who will stay by your side all the way through to your success. S/he will be your biggest fan, your strongest ally, your most faithful advocate, and your steadiest partner. With every small victory you will gain the sense of accomplishment that will help to keep you excited and energized on your journey. Your success is your coach’s goal, and s/he will contribute all her/his training, resources, and experience to helping you get there.
  1. Life-Changing Results: To Achieve Success that Leads to a Happier, More Peaceful, More Confident Life—and in a way that saves you stress, consequences of bad choices, time, and money. Your coach will work with you to bring about the results you desire, in the manner in which you desire them, and in the time frame of your choosing.

If you are stuck in indecision, experiencing difficulties in your relationships, feeling trapped or trounced by life, or if you are facing life transitions that leave you fearful, hopeless, or uncertain, a life coach can be just the person to help you move forward into your best life yet.

Email me today to obtain your free consultation and to get moving on your way to experiencing all the best that life has to offer.



Copyright Mary Comm 2015. All rights reserved.

10 Ways To Improve Your Relationships

Relationships are a part of every area of life. When our relationships are stressful, life is stressful. Over the years, I’ve learned some things that, when I consistently apply them, not only do they improve my relationships, but they also help me to be a happier, more grounded and centered person.  If you want to improve your relationships, read on.

  1. Read emails, texts, letters, etc. very carefully.

Often we read communications from people with a preconceived notion of their intent. The written word is the most difficult form of communication to decipher sometimes, especially when there is already stress in the relationship. Slow down and read the email, text, etc. as it is written —simply black words on a white background—without emotion, without interpretation, and without any kind of inflection. Resist the temptation to read it with the tone you assume is there. Instead, focus on “hearing” what the sender is truly saying. Then read it again, and again, if you need to.

  1. Don’t jump to conclusions.

Most people won’t jump out of an airplane even with a parachute, but most of us jump to conclusions when it comes to relationships. Obviously, the parachute is intended to save your life. Likewise, refusing to jump to conclusions can save your relationship. Again, try to “hear” what the other person is saying—even if they are saying it poorly. Listen for their heart; seek to understand before you ask or expect them to understand you. This simple step will revolutionize your relationships!

  1. Don’t assume you know what’s going on until you have the facts.

Each of these first three points has to do with making assumptions. Why? Because we are all guilty of making assumptions, and doing so is incredibly destructive to relationships! Always look at the facts first, detaching from the emotions of the situation to the best of your ability. It may help to envision that you are an investigator seeking to uncover the truth of the situation by first assessing the facts. As you do so, it will enable you to set your emotions aside, which will automatically take heat out of the moment.

  1. Respond – don’t react.

Reactions are like a knee-jerk response. When we react, we fly off the handle, we jump to conclusions, and we injure the other person in the relationship. Reacting often makes us look bad as well. Responses, on the other hand, occur when we take time to process the facts and the impact those facts have upon us. Responding involves remaining calm, listening well, and taking a time-out if necessary to fully work through your emotions. Always respond. Never react.

  1. Self-control always pays off.

Responding instead of reacting requires a fair amount of self-control. But rest assured, the work it requires to respond versus reacting is well worth it! Just like you cannot put toothpaste back into the tube, words that have been spoken can never be unheard. Once they are out there, they are out there forever. Even if you really didn’t mean that hurtful thing you said, the other person will likely never forget it. As the proverb goes, Be careful of the words you speak for someday you may have to eat them. Make sure the words you speak are seasoned with grace, kindness, and understanding.

  1. Never feel bad for doing the right thing.

By design, the right thing is always the best thing. Conversely, the wrong thing is never right! However, the right thing can cause pain for the other person involved. And while we don’t want to be the reason someone we care about is hurting, sometimes positive change requires pain. On the flip side, the right thing will never cause harm—otherwise it wouldn’t be right! Doing the wrong thing will always cause harm; and it may harm the relationship to the point that reconciliation becomes impossible. Even God allows us to go through painful things, sometimes, in order to make us more like Jesus. But just as God allows things in life to hurt us, He promises never to harm us (Jeremiah 29:11). I’d say His example is the best one to follow!

  1. Do what you say you will do.

In order to be a person of character, we must do what we say we will do.   When we do, we show others that we are reliable, that our word is good, and that they can count on us. Plus, it just feels great to follow through with what you’ve promised. Be trustworthy.

  1. Remember that God is your Defender.

At times we find ourselves being wrongly accused, misunderstood, or unjustly characterized. Our natural response is to defend ourselves, or to work tirelessly to change that person’s opinion of us. However, people will often believe things of us that are not true—even the people closest to us. When these situations arise, respond calmly, confidently, and consistently with your true character. The truth often comes out, eventually, but whether it does or not, remember that God is working on your behalf. He has not abandoned you in this situation. You can trust Him. Wait for Him to work, and trust that even if that person never accepts the truth of the situation, God knows who you are, and in the end, that is really all that matters. The people who choose to believe negative things about you may always make that choice, but the people who truly care about you will stand by you. God is definitely in that group!

  1. Keep in mind that people who do hurtful things are often (if not always) operating out of a wound themselves.

There’s a saying that Hurt people hurt people. Whenever we are hurting, the most natural thing is to act out of that pain. When someone hurts, wrongly accuses, or offends you, ask yourself if this behavior is really about you or if it could possibly be the result of some pain that person has in his own life. People who are bitter, for example, have often been deeply wounded by people close to them. Likewise, bitter people can be some of the most toxic, hurtful people to be in relationship with. Take time to examine yourself and look for grains of truth in what the other person has communicated to you. If there are grains of truth, own them, apologize for them, and seek to make things right with that person. However, if there are no grains of truth, consider the other person carefully—not to analyze them or to judge them, but to better understand or identify the reason for their attack upon you. If they are obviously wounded and are acting out of that pain, try to look past the offense and see the hurting person underneath. It doesn’t make what they did right, but it explains why they may be doing it. Often when others attack us, it is less about us than it is about their own wounding.

  1. Set healthy boundaries.

Boundaries are like fences with gates; they allow good things to come in and they keep bad things out. Boundaries are about you—what you will tolerate or not, what you will accept in relationships or not. They are not about controlling the other person. Boundaries are limits with consequences. For example, one boundary may be that, during an argument, if the other person begins making cutting, critical, or derogatory remarks, you will remove yourself from the conversation. Boundaries need to be clear, specific, and enforceable. Boundaries create mutually respectful relationships that enable us to thrive and grow. Likewise, they can be safeguards to protect us from dangerous or harmful relationships.

As you begin to apply these ten things, look for your relationships to improve. Of course, relationships require that both people work to make them successful. If you discover that you are the only one working in the relationship to make it healthy and mutually beneficial, you may want to consider the amount of personal investment you are willing to contribute to it.

Keep in mind that there are different degrees of relationships. You will be happiest when you have one or two people in your innermost circle who love you, respect you, support you, and continually work to create a safe, and fulfilling reciprocal relationship; people you can trust with your deepest hurts, darkest secrets, and that will love you and believe in you no matter what. The next circle out may have a few more people who are not quite as intimately involved in your life, but they should also be trustworthy and caring. Then, in the outermost circle, that is where you will maintain the relationships that are most trying, but that may be a permanent part of your life. This group may include family members that are critical, bitter, or simply difficult to be around. You love them and are committed to them because they are family, but that does not mean you have to let them into your inner circles. Keep these people in your life, but keep them at a safe distance so as to minimize their influence upon your life.

Now get to work learning and applying these principles! You will be glad you did.

Make today count! 🙂


(Published at Noomii.com @ 5/18/15)  All rights reserved.

Photo:  Found on worth1000.com via Pinterest


Word for the Year: GRACE

My words-of-the-year have taken on an interesting picture when I look back over them. In 2011 and 2012, my word was HOPE. Romans 15:13 was the corresponding verse: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” (NIV). During this time I needed hope like I’ve never needed it before.

In 2013, it was AUTHENTICITY. “But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere” James 3:17. I determined to be authentic, honest, and sincere in all my interactions with others and in my internal dialogue.

In 2014, my words were FREEDOM and FORGIVE. “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery” Galatians 5:1.  And in Luke 23:34, “Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”  If Jesus could forgive the very people who were torturing and killing Him, and even making sport of the situation, then how can I not forgive those who have hurt me? The most interesting revelation of the year? When I FORGAVE others, I was set FREE!

This year, my word is GRACE. “But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved…For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” Ephesians 2:1-10. We were rescued from our sin and ourselves–not for ourselves, but for Him–so we could LIVE and BE the message of how He saves and that He does so with love beyond our comprehension, with undeserved pardon (mercy) and unmerited favor (grace). We were saved to be vessels of His grace to others…and that is what my word for this year entails. I am called to be and reveal His grace to others who need it.

In 2011/2012 I desperately needed hope…. In 2015, God has worked so much in my life that I am excited about being a vessel of His grace (and hope and kindness and love, etc.)  to others.  This is what being a Christian is all about: finding what we need in God and then showing others how to do the same.  We are the prism through which His light shines….  It’s a beautiful thing, and so many people need His light in their lives!

Do you have a word for the year? If you do, please share it here.  It’s interesting to see how that word continually crops up in your life throughout the year, and how, by the end of the year, it has changed you.

His grace to you, today and always,