Life doesn’t always go as it should. Sometimes the very places you feel the strongest, and most equipped are the ones that seem to come under attack the most frequently. That has been the case for me this past week.
Yes, I’m a relationship coach. And no, my relationships are not perfect! I have relationship difficulties the same as everyone else.
The fact that I still have relationship struggles means I am still learning and growing in my relationships and in what makes them healthy. Of course, because none of us is perfect we will always have room for growth and improvement! With that said, here are a few tips for getting through those rocky relationship issues:
- Examine yourself. Ask yourself where you may possibly have made a mistake in the relationship. Did I communicate clearly? Did I listen well to the other person? Did I forget to add something that was important to the conversation? Could I have done it better? If so, how? Take responsibility for your words, actions, etc. Admitting you’ve made a mistake is a beautiful thing; it in no way diminishes who you are.
- Be slow to anger. This principle applies both in your perspective toward the other person AND yourself. If you’re like me, you tend to be harder on yourself than others are–an area in which I have grown tremendously lately! But of course it also applies to the other person. God’s Word says that man’s anger does not accomplish the things of God (my paraphrase of James 1:20). So instead of getting angry, take a deep breath and ask God for clarity, wisdom, discernment, and humility as you work to remedy the situation.
- Pray! This is always the go-to action! Pray, pray, pray, and pray some more! Pray for the other person(s); pray for wisdom; pray for the schemes of the enemy to be held back; pray for restoration and reconciliation. God is the BEST relationship expert there is! Unlike me, He is infallible and He is always right!
- Apologize and make it right. Romans 12:18 tells us that “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone (NIV).” You won’t be able to make it right with everyone, but you can do what you can do! Apologize and if necessary, ask the other person how you can make things right again.
- Give it time. Give God time to work in both you and the other(s) involved. Practice patience….
- Let it go. If you’ve done everything you can do to own your stuff, to make it right, if you’ve prayed and trusted God to work in the situation, sometimes all you can do at that point is to let it go. Leave the situation in God’s hands and whenever He brings that person to mind, pray for them and for continued awareness of the situation. Remember, as long as there is life, there is hope for restoring that relationship.
Relationships matter because people matter. So whenever you are facing difficulties in your relationships, do the right thing, and as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Now go and make today count!
(Copyright Mary Comm, 2015. All rights reserved.)