I had a rather surprising lesson in gratitude a couple of nights ago.

My husband, daughter and I decided to go see a movie after dinner (–don’t you love summertime?!), so as we waited for the movie to begin we decided to kill that time doing a little shopping. Joel and Jenna headed for Best Buy. Me? I went for the boutique. ;)

So I was shopping, taking my time looking through all the fun, girlie things in the shop and finally decided I’d better make my purchase so as not to be late for the movie. As I was checking out, I asked the owner about a recent event she’d had — on her birthday she had a big celebration at the store with lots of fun giveaways, etc. — and she began to fill me in on it. During the course of telling her story she mentioned several times that she was having difficulties “getting out of bed.”

I didn’t ask what she meant; who am I to be nosy…? So I let her continue on without interruption.

Then she said something about repeating the event on “Max’s” birthday in August. I asked, politely, “Oh, is Max your husband?”

Both the owner and the sales clerk standing next to her looked at each other then back at me as she answered, “No, Max was my son. He died.”

Now this woman (Marci) looks to be about my age, so having an 18 year old son myself, my heart immediately went out to her.

She told me how he was the inspiration to open the boutique in the first place, then two months after the opening he died. She didn’t say how, or how old he was. It really didn’t matter. What mattered was that the life of this mom had been shattered by the loss of her son.

I stood there for a while longer (fighting back tears…) as she continued to explain that’s why she can barely get out of bed, and that it’s the shop that forces her to do that. And, as it would happen, it’s being around people during the day that gets her through.

Now I started this blog talking about gratitude…. There is nothing that makes me (or any mom) more grateful than coming face-to-face with the hard truth that there are no guarantees about our kids; when we realize that today with our children is a gift, a precious gift not to be squandered or tossed aside; but a gift to be “opened” daily and appreciated for all it’s worth.

Sure they can be obstinate or sloppy or downright snarky (my daughter hates that word!) and even rebellious, and when they are it’s easy to respond in kind. However, I’m suggesting that instead of getting sucked into that kind of exchange, perhaps a better thing might be to smile and say, I love you…! Because isn’t that what parenting is all about: loving our kids no matter what? If we don’t express that to them now while they are with us, how will they know that’s what will meet them when they really need to be  loved unconditionally? And heaven forbid something should happen to them during one of these ‘todays….’ I think loving them no matter what in the moment would definitely ward off many feelings of regret should the unthinkable occur.

As for me, I’m incredibly grateful for my kids today and for reminders to appreciate all the todays I have with them…. :)

Joyfully,

Mary

If you live in Northern Colorado, I encourage you to stop in at Maximum Boutique in The Promenade Shops at Centerra in Loveland. They have great, fun girlie stuff — and you never know how your visit might bless Marci!

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[Marci, if you see this blog, please know the intent behind it was to honor the memory of your precious son, Max, and to pay homage to you as you continue to get out of bed every day. I pray this insignificant little blog blesses you today!]