I received a text one day from a friend. All it said was, “Help! My marriage is in trouble!” I immediately returned the text with a phone call. Her voice was shaky as she answered the phone. She had clearly been crying.
That day I learned that my friend’s marriage was in serious trouble. It was the first I’d heard that there was trouble at home. What I didn’t know was that for years she had begged and pleaded with her husband to go to counseling with her. He had refused. She had gone to counseling alone, but was unable to resolve many of the issues, so she stopped going. She had tried everything she knew to make it work, and by the time she texted me, she was at the end of her rope. She was ready to call an attorney.
I let her talk as much as she wanted and I listened, my heart breaking for her and her family. I asked her a few questions and then I told her what I know
I know that divorce is excruciating.
I know that divorce does not make the problems go away, necessarily—especially when kids are involved.
I know that people are able to put their lives back together after a divorce, but the implosion of a family leaves an indelible mark on everyone, forever after.
I know that hearts mend after divorce, but a heart shattered by divorce, though it heals, never beats quite the same again.
I know because I’ve been there.
I left my friend that day with three words of advice: Count the cost.
I explained what that meant and we hung up a few minutes later.
The next time I spoke with this friend she was smiling and hopeful. I won’t say that everything was rosy and perfect, but she and her husband had both begun to work on their marriage. When I asked her what had happened, she answered that she had counted the cost and realized her family was worth continuing to fight for.
I don’t know how their story will end, but I do know that my friend is giving it all she’s got. She counted the cost and found that the price of divorce was too high, based on their current situation.
And I counted that a really good day!
If you are having trouble in your marriage take care not to throw in the towel too soon. Marriage is a treasure that is worth fighting for. Count the cost.
And as always, make today count!